Do not seek the truth.
Honestly, it’s too hard. It’s like falling through the floor of the world and tumbling into space without anything to hold on to. It’s like freezing from the inside out. It’s the loneliest place you can imagine.
I’ll give you the Cliff Notes so you don’t have to bother with all that heartbreak
Chief among the lessons is how the hum of life goes on without me. You need your life, it doesn’t need you.
Live your life today and enjoy the hell out of it, every bit of it because that’s what you’ve got. Love the people you are with because one day you will not be with them.
And..hang on to some of your delusions. Don’t be so quick to set fire to your story because as they say at Zen school, “it’s just a story.” Those stories are your stabilizers and sometimes they keep the plane in the air. It’s okay to feel like you matter and that you’re going to do something really good in your life. It doesn’t matter if those stories turn out to be true or not, they can keep you going.
So go ahead and tell your stories–just know that they are stories and if they begin to hurt you then let them go.
You knows this but it’s worth repeating because I really know it now: It is not about the work or the errands or the noise of the tasks we fill our days with, it is about what happens when we are not doing that–when the cat sits in your lap and purrs or the loved one sits near you and wonders if you’re hungry or it’s that long drive with the windows rolled down and the smell of the woods when it fills your lungs–that is all the truth you need.
I set out to grab the great sword and cut through delusion. I wanted to settle my dust and know what is real. What I did not walk away from, I gave away. Now I know the truth–all I loved is all I have ever loved.
You do not need to drop through the floor of the world to figure it out.