Say what you want. Attraction is shallow. One should seek equals at all levels, one should strive for compatibility and take the one hundred asset test to determine how one might spend the years of their lives entwined with another. We should give up on old fashioned ideas like love at first sight and romantic attraction–plug it into a dating database and call it real.
That’s the thinking, right?
Right. Right up until you meet someone who breathes with you, who sends sparks from his finger tips and every word is profound. Right–right up until you experience the inexpressible.
But that doesn’t really happen. We’ve given up on that nonsense so we mush all of our stuff in a tiresome program and it pops out a match and we show up pretending not to have a heart or soul but only a hard drive. We comb our hair, find our best shirt and face the formula. But we secretly are hoping for something which defies a quiz, we hope for the most ethereal and inexplicable thing as close to fairy dust as possible–we hope for love. We fear looking foolish which may be the worst fate in all of humanity so we leave it to computers. They’re so anonymous and neutral. Who doesn’t love that?
There is a program for everything. It’s so much more predictable and limits risk.
But why? Why do we do this?
I’m raising my hand. Pick me– I know. What is–we are scared to death– for 200 Alex. We are afraid of our potential because it is so powerful and authentic.
We are humans, mammals in fact, desperate for connection pretending to be driven by logic. I picture Hindu gods laughing at us–oh silly little humans–thinking things makes sense.
We are all just little packets of DNA and Consciousness floating around in our stardust bodies. We are magic in the flesh. Why not just own that? Logic is for the simple who cannot wrap their head around the vastness of the true reality.
Can we just cut through the crap?This isn’t Sci-Fi but real life where we actually fall in love, every day, all the time with all kinds of people as in..’I don’t know what’s going on but this person is all I can think about..I dream him when I’m awake..I only want his happiness..’ Giving your heart away is part of the natural condition of the fearless humans we are meant to be.
Logic has nothing to do with it. When I stand under a black sky and look up at the stars I feel a deep sense of gratitude. None of that is about programming or logic. That sky, those stars, that moon are not about preferences but instead they are about awe and reverence, they are about connection to something greater than me which reminds me that I am a part of a beautiful, magical place where really, scientifically, anything is actually possible. That’s not the Disney version. If you’ve read any of the great thinkers delving into Cosmology you know what I am saying here is not romance but fact. Love is like that too. It’s a miracle.
We pick our friends through weird coincidence..we show up at the same coffee shop or we speak the same kind of colloquial language or see each other in the Tofu section and start talking. We fall for our children when we hear a heart beat the first time. They are not even formed people, yet we love them. And if we’re really, really lucky we meet someone who steals our heart and we don’t know or care why…we just know how we feel. It’s not calculated or logical and it’s not meant to be. It’s the the way the sun hits the grass in February as it unfurls in front of a weathered barn and something about it makes us cry with its simple and complex beauty, it’s me walking home from town under the comfort of my night sky past the Shiva tree and saying under my breath, “thankyou,thankyou,thankyou.”
Life is not a formula. It is unpredictable. It will break you apart and put you back together. It will pull your heart out and restructure it while you sleep. You will suffer and you will grow but through it all- if you’re paying close attention- you will notice that all around you is love and the hands to hold you so that even when you’re falling it’s never too far.
Chances are just when you are content with everything as it is, change will show up knocking at your door. If I had a dollar for every time I told a friend, “I love my life. I don’t want one thing to change” I would be wealthy. Of course that meant change would surely come. And guess what? It followed no formula and showed up unexpected in one way– and like a dream I harbored for years in secret– in another. Because, we do manifest our deepest desires.
So here I am the cynic making a case for unexpected and unexplained love. I am making the case for prayer and intention, for magic and the unexplainable. I am urging you to dive right in without weighing the cost.
I am suggesting you throw out the play book, the rule book, the list of ‘should’ and shouldn’t’ and go with your gut and heart. Do no harm, walk sweetly with good intention and really know that you are loved in a million different ways. Turn every corner with a smile on your face and your arms open wide to what may arrive.
You have nothing to lose but your fear.
Mi Querida, you are so cherished. Trust that lovely soul. Dance under the night sky and know that the world awaits you.
You are so needed just as you are, in your dreams living under the warmth of your smile. Forget logic and follow love.
It’s all true. Every dream, every hope–all real. Your job is to only to say, Thank you.