Angry Onion; Guest Blogger-Hold Your Power

Hi, I think this is totally a 2000 + problem the new millennium has brought us women some complications. When we can do it all ourselves but don’t want to.
To quote the millionaire match maker “men have become lazy lions”, but we’re still powerful lionesses!
I’m in the same boat as you, but have to admit I’m no saint.. I could launch into a huge statement about how I only want a companion, etc etc.. But I also want that boom, firework feeling. Unfortunately us lionesses like the chase also and so the ones who are more elusive are great prey, we want to chase, catch and consume that tasty morsel, the sitting ducks pose as no challenge.
So how do we do this?
I’ve been serial dating since moving back to the UK from Europe, in Europe being single is fashionable, back home everyone is in relationships, I think because in Europe you spend most of the day out socializing, where as in the UK it’s very much at home during the week and only the weekend is a social time.
So I got on a dating site here, and have been dating almost every night, I’ve never really dated, always been in long term, never right, but I stayed cause I didn’t want to quit relationships.
I’ve dated such a mix of men, all around my age, a couple years below or above. I’ve tried to stick to my area too so that I don’t have to travel too much and give it a chance to have a future.
The first guy I dated I thought,’ yep this one will do’, but like your onion guy, he became elusive. The first night he declared his love for me, I was perfect, how lucky he was to find me. We saw each other around five more times, dog walking, local pub etc, then he just disappeared. We never slept together so it wasn’t that he got his cake and left. I was really hurt and confused, but I sucked it up and gave dating another go. After that I’ve dated lots of guys, and found that if you show a little interest but don’t chase they are crazy for you. It’s wasn’t my intention to have that reaction, I just realized that being allowed to date on tap has allowed me to be fussy.
I often enjoy the first date, we have a lovely kissing session maybe after a couple of glasses of wine, but then I become blase’, I turned into the first guy I dated. The guy then, confused, starts persuing me. If they then get overly desperate I cut them off, or get even more distant.
So my conclusion is that if you like a guy you have to go slow. I think you can have passion, even sex, but you have to do it without expecting a future.. You have to play it cool, don’t over text, test the water, if he’s texting you great, if he acts elusive then go out on another date with someone else and distract yourself. If he’s interested, he’ll come to you.
When I say date another guy I don’t mean you have to pash with him or have sex.. Just distract yourself.
It’s a pain when you just wish the one you really like were on your page but people fall at different times, and if you don’t push it then he may come to fall for you too.
Men back off if they feel that they’re being suffocated.
Take this one guy I have been texting with. He came on so strong with me in the beginning, quite Pervy. I was actually laughing at him and texting back for a laugh. Then I thought, ‘nah, bored now’, so I ignored him for a while. He started texting nicer normal conversation. So I thought maybe, as I said before, I’ve only been in long term relationships, this guy could be a one night stand. So I said why not let’s get a hotel room and have one crazy night, but after that I told him I wouldn’t see him again. At first he was so up for the idea he got really turned on. We’ve still not met, but his whole attitude has changed, now he’s texting, telling me about how he’s a really nice guy and that he loves talking to me and please if we meet could it not be a one night thing? He says maybe I’ve misunderstood him, that he could really see himself with me in a long term relationship. It’s crazy. The more power you have the more they want you.
I promise I didn’t set out to do this, in my previous blogs I was quite bewildered about relationships.
My goal is to settle down, get married and have a baby. I’ve never serial dated, or had a one night stand. I’m still not sleeping with these guys so I guess I’m holding that card.. But I have had intense passion sessions with a couple.
I do feel empowered, I feel less desperate, by dating more guys, I am not settling. I’m also not chasing. I’m exhausted right now as I’m working all day every day and dating every night, but I’m having fun.
However, the downside is there are guys that I have liked and have not chased back, if they had I’d have stopped and would now be in a relationship.
So the key is simply keep fishing till the right fish bites. Don’t settle or chase the wrong one.
What if it doesn’t happen? Well at least I’m not in the divorce courts or with babies around my ankles with no help from a dead beat dad.
Sending you love and luck,
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