The crow could not decide which way to cross. She paced and fluffed her wings. She was annoyed. It radiated like the fading sunlight across her back as it tightened in her small body. She nodded her head, the light hit her eyes and she shook her head.
The crow was having a bad patch. It happens to everybody.
Sometimes our plans are mucked up and we’re stuck up to our ankles in their debris not knowing how to make a new plan. We are immobilized. Sometimes we are flat out hurt. Disappointed. Even pissed off.
We pace and struggle We try to get back on track but it will not be. Life does not always act like clay–it will not be molded.
Acceptance. Before you can do anything else you have to accept this is where you are: your plans are shot, you’re sad and nothing will save you or your desires. I get to that path of acceptance by taking to my cushion and sitting for however long it takes in total silence. I breathe and with each breath, somehow, I let go a bit more. It’s the metaphor. If you hold your breath you will eventually die. You must take breath in and let go of it. The same with everything.
In the end we lose everything. Life is training for death.
The practice is in the taking in and letting go, gracefully. When we release the plan and its desire we release fear as well. We become supple and fluid. We roll on like the river.
This is also true of deep ache and desire. Letting them go a breath at a time makes us more alive and aware. More awake and willing. We become better at life and its purpose–love.
So when your best plans fall apart do not forget, hold anger or make any assumptions about what it means. All you have to do is breathe out and for the time- let go. Become weightless and fly off that median to your new location.
Sometimes the thing that didn’t happen is the gift.